Look at all those nutrients going back into the ecosystem! Didn’t catch a single coho salmon in the last two weekends spent along the Harrison and Chilliwack Rivers. As someone who’s never fished for salmon and never on the shore of a river, I’ve learned a lot about the techniques, implements, and culture around fishing this incredible creature.

Deer Lake this evening.

Live stand up comedy happens every month in the coffee shop I live above.

Making gluten free chapati with cassava and chestnut flour.

Making banana pancakes.

A rainy Election Day. Thank you to everyone and anyone who has volunteered and made personal sacrifices to ensure our freedom to express our democratic voice. #canadianelection #canadavotes #voteforpedro

Live from @wwenxt.

#tbt to the time @eplatero and I drove across Canada from Vancouver to London.

Today’s view from Mount Seymour.

Today’s view from Mount Fromme.

Vancouver under the moon.

Also received my awesome new pins from @superteamdeluxe today! These bad boys will be making their way to my messenger bag pronto.

Stoked to receive my pair of Make Happy shoes from @awonderfulshop! These shoes are made by @bucketfeet and are super comfortable.

#firstday of week 6 since I last worked for money 😊

Spent the weekend at Sloquet Hot Springs. This is a picture of Sloquet Creek.

A little treat at Richmond Night Market.

This might be my favourite thing I have ever drawn.

Tonight’s view from Dog Mountain.

Shirts and shoes and buttons, oh my!

Sneak peek.

Didn’t get all the way in today, but needed to sit by the water for a bit.

Spent the afternoon here.

Took 3.5h to hike and swim to this spot and it was totally worth it.

One of these has travelled to Uganda, Newfoundland, Ontario, British Columbia, Alberta, and Quebec. The other has big shoes to fill.

Another shot from yesterday’s excursion to Lynn Creek.

Spent the afternoon hiking and swimming down Lynn Creek. The shock of the cold was quickly replaced with the serenity of being in such a beautiful and peaceful place.

Had such a great time with @bmann and @be.zelenka in Nanaimo on Wednesday. Read all about it at the link in my bio.

Today, I’m the copilot.

Before/After

The rope hanging from the base of the tree on the left used to be used to get down to Lynn Creek. Some time in the last year this tree and another next to it toppled over.

Drinks with a friend.

Feels good to be back in BC.

Four 5¢ stamps for a quarter! 😆

Maybe a middle part, instead?

Decided it’s time to part my hair the other way.

I think I kinda like comic book me 😁

Spoon Lake.

On the way up to Mt. Cheam.

Landed at Port Aux Basque Newfoundland. 2 more days until I’m off the grid.

(via Manton Reece)

Passed by #lynncreek on our way to #hanesvalley. The boulders here were a whole lot smoother than the ones we climbed later on.

A small patch of the boulder field we hiked through on Saturday. @andreasupernova for scale.

Hiked up the #hanesvalley boulder field yesterday with @andreasupernova. Took us 9 hours to get from #lynnheadwaters to the top of @grousemountain. The biggest lesson learned: make sure you check your water supply each time you stop at a water source. I had planned to at the last little creek before our ascent up the boulder field and forgot, forcing us to turn around about 10 min into our hike up.

Second biggest lesson learned: when you look up to see what’s ahead while hiking on a trail, be sure to stop and plant your feet first. I did not stop to see what was ahead and my foot caught on a root, causing me to trip. My stomach landed on a rock first, followed by my two front teeth. Miraculously, I wasn’t injured all beyond a minor scrape on my rib cage. Won’t be making that mistake again (I hope!).

An incredible trip I’ve been dreaming of for a couple of years. Hands down the most difficult hike I’ve ever done. Can’t wait to do it again next year 😊

Update: Overcast now appears to be syncing my podcast properly. Not sure what the cause of the issue was, so unfortunately I can’t share any helpful info if you run into a similar problem.

#newtwitter sees the Twitter web interface itself become a kind of platform. Previously, developers took data out of Twitter and into the context of their own applications and services. The new design flips this on its head, bringing rich embedded content into the site from a host of brand-name web properties.
—Alex Payne former engineer @twitter, Sept 15, 2010

I remember reading this post when it was first published and recognizing that the end of Twitter as I had come to know it over the prior three years was gone. In its place, an infamous #dickbar.

Most of you don’t know that I deleted my Twitter account. In fact, in 2013 I deleted almost every social media profile I had, save for my email and maybe a few other things.

I came back because despite the #newtwitter reality, people still wanted to live in a silo.

I wrote earlier today that there are some benefits to no longer having like and retweet counts and streaming in third party clients. I recognize that’s not the attitude everyone has about this. I’m hoping what comes out of it is a realization that humans operate more efficiently outside of silos, and that a lot more attention is paid to the idea of an Independent Web. Tools like text editors and RSS feeds may well end up the winners in the end.

1. Created a Workflow based on a previous Workflow I had created for posting to my Jekyll site from my iPhone via Working Copy
2. Added steps for recording and previewing the audio, encoding it to MP3 and then base64 and storing that as a variable
3. Pass the base64 string through an x-callback URL that writes the file to my local repository
4. Come back to Workflow to paste this text into a text field
5. Store this text as a variable
6. Pass that variable through to my standard x-callback URL for posting content on this site
7. Frantically refresh my blog hoping I can spot and fix any bugs before Roland notices
8. Quickly load the post in Working Copy and edit the incorrect scr in the audio element caused by an errant variable
9. Come back and try it again when site.baseurl is discovered to not work on my site
10. Realize it still isn’t playing in Safari, so pull the latest from the repository onto my Macbook Pro and rebuild the site locally to test
11. Realize that adding a source element inside of the audio element works, but wonder why Roland didn’t seem to have to do this on his post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
12. Go back into Workflow to update the Workflow to match the new markup

A view of the #northshoremountains.

You can view a demo and read the docs right from the theme’s Github repository.

One more from Sunday’s hike. This is the second of the two snow caves at the top of the boulder field. We didn’t get up into this one because the scramble to get to it was a lot more difficult and we lacked the necessary experience and means to call for help if something went wrong. Instead, @andreasupernova went swimming in the stream fed in part by the melting of the cave.

But one day, one day we’ll get to it.

#explorebc #explorecanada #beautifulbc #bclife #hiking #hike #snowcave #mountains #boulderfield #respitefromtheheat #summer #trail #adventure #goldenearspark #provincialpark #sundayfunday #fitness #shotoniphone7plus #shotoniphone #ge_rlparks

I have documented a couple of ideas for features I’d like to add before releasing this theme for production and would be grateful if you would share your own.

If you’d like to test it out before it’s ready for production, have a look at the theme’s README file for instructions on how to set it up and let me know about any issues you discover.

It’s always best to do your invoicing with a drink by your side.

Chicken cordon bleu.

Dinner and a show.

※

※

Today morning as i was on my way to work, a friend i was traveling with asked me about yesterdays football scores, as you would imagine, he was holding his phone, and I got baffled and asked, you seem to be online, why don’t you give it a google search? and yes you guessed it, he was using a social pack.

These social packs Mwaka is referring to are described by his friend:

“There is something about the bundles” one of my friends attempted to explain. Its cheap and gives you access to WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram.

Most Ugandans can’t Google to learn that Facebook owns both WhatsApp and Instagram. These social media bundles are about half the price of regular data bundles and are being sold to people who don’t know they’re getting less than half the Internet.

The lack of net neutrality in developing countries is felt immediately by those who, like Mwaka and the team at Ensibuuko, are trying to build technology to educate, entertain, and improve the lives of their friends, families, and communities:

My frustration is, it’s very hard to get any app to succeed when social bundles are still around. No matter how great your idea is. To succeed, you either pivot or build what works with social bundles. It’s the bitter frustrating truth that led me to building my Kanamo app as a facebook bot. I saw some growth there. But who am I kidding, the bot experience is not as nearly nice as the android app.

That last sentence gives me pause when I consider the attitude I and other iOS users have toward Android. But even more importantly, this is having a direct impact on the viability of Ugandan-founded tech startups and the impact they could have on their communities.

I saw the impact of this first hand while traveling throughout Uganda. Microfinancing institutions throughout the country rely on very unreliable electricity and Internet services to manage the finances of their communities. Not to mention the $1k USD we paid at our own office for a 1.5 MBPS connection shared amongst a dozen employees.

The chances that a corporation like Facebook or the Ugandan government will do anything to improve this situation are slim to none.

My hope is that by talking about it here, I can let my friend Mwaka and others know that I am thinking deeply about this problem and hope that together we can find a better solution.

※

Where I think I went wrong was when I decided against bringing the newly created design system into an older, existing project I was later asked to help with. My reasoning at the time was to avoid conflicts with the multiple other design libraries already in use by developers who had worked on the project before I joined. This decision has prevented me from being able to continue evangelizing the design system I had created to the organization, leaving my poor design system in the dust.

Jeroen’a excellent article is part of a new ongoing project called DesignSystems.com, “a resource for learning, creating, and evangelizing design systems” by Figma¹. Really excited to dig deeper into this resource over the next few days.

※

※

※

If you want to get a sense of the injustice being inflicted on the people of Uganda by the telecom industry and their own government, read this article.

(via Ray Besiga)

※

※

Recently, Cushion released an update to the user interface that I have found greatly improves the usability of the app. In his post explaining the reasoning behind the change, Jonnie Hallman promises to share more about the design process and technical challenges they faced. This is my public reminder that his team’s fans are patiently waiting 😉

※

※

On his beautifully designed website, Manson also wrote what I wish I had available to me over a decade ago when I recorded and released my first EP: instructions for how to self-release an album.

(via Chase Reeves)

※

※

※

Also pleased to see my dear friend and collaborator Carly Thomas nominated for Best Contemporary Singer/Songwriter. It’s been a couple of years since our last journey together on the open road and I’m really starting to miss it.

※

In addition to its very impressive UI, Airtable also offers an API. Designer David Yeiser just launched a redesign of his blog which is now powered by Airtable’s API and Next.js, a framework for server rendered applications. David can now update his blog using Airtable on his desktop or mobile device, including storing drafts and publishing different types of content.

As someone who’s currently using a complicated mess of Draft actions and Workflows to publish his blog from his phone, I’m currently a bit envious of David’s approach. While I’m not quite ready to make changes to my current setup, it’s inspiring to see people experimenting with new ways of publishing to the open web.

※

※

※

※

※

All the money ever does is “sits”. It never “moves”. Switching ownership is instant, so “sitting” takes 100% of money’s activity. If your money burns a hole in your pocket, it is not because “money must move”, it is because you have shitty money.

—Oleg Andreev

※

※

※

※

※

※

※

It’s been a while since I last travelled down the road playing guitar with Carly. Listening to this album brings back some truly wonderful memories of nights spent playing music across this great country.

If you’re into physical media, you can get a CD and some cool artwork by visiting her online store.

※

※

I’m still using feed.press to post to Twitter for now, but will be experimenting with Micro.blog’s cross-posting functionality this week.

※

※

The ultimate value of the Internet is that it is an open network. I want to invest my time and grow my understanding in a dataset I can access, transport, query, and utilize in the future. For me, right now, this means using WordPress to amalgamate my personal “online existence” in a MySQL database that I own, instead of relying on Facebook or Twitter — or whatever the “next things” might be — to host my digital life for me on their terms, under their conditions.

If you follow me online, you may have noticed a decline in the quantity of content I’m publishing. Aside from the occasional reply on Twitter or Instagram photo, almost everything I’ve had to say can be found right here on my blog.

Well, anything I’ve had to say publicly, that is. The vast majority of my writing activity has been invested in the work I’m doing with Ensibuuko. Speaking of which, we’re currently on the lookout for Laravel developers. If you or someone you know is available, let me know!

※

Too many times in my life I’ve let people down by failing to deliver on promises. More often than not, this is not for a lack of trying. It’s usually that I promise more time and energy than I have available.

This recently came up again when a friend introduced me to someone I’ve admired from afar for some time. My friend and this someone invited me to participate in a project they’re working on together and in my excitement to meet this someone, I agreed right away.

I had to send an email to this someone last week to let them know I was pulling out of the project (thankfully, he was forgiving and gracious and extended an invitation to rejoin their efforts if and when my schedule allows). If you’re a designer interested in blockchains and/or the music industry, do get in touch.

This reminder from Jason Fried that the pain of saying no is far less severe than the pain of failing to deliver on a promise strikes home with me. I want to ensure that the things I say yes to align with my ability to deliver.

※

※

After 6 long months, I am so ready to go home.

※

※

I’ve now been waiting for the Consular to return from her lunch which was to have ended two hours ago. Her office staff can’t reach her and have no idea where she is.

Oh, Canada.

※

※

※

To say these last four and a half months have been amazing would be an understatement. I will miss the dear friends I’ve made since coming here, but am looking forward to the day when I can visit again.

※

※

※

※

※

※

I still have the Facebook Messenger app because so many friends use it. Thankfully, there’s nothing there — aside from the totally ignorable stories — to mindlessly flip through. Now if I could only overcome my addiction to my Twitter feed…

※

※

※

※

I found myself nodding my head as I read Zhu’s blog post about returning from vacation to relatively few updates in her feed reader. Many of the friends I have made online have moved the vast majority of their publishing to social media. While the immediacy of social media is great, it’s an art form of brevity. Blog posts allowed for long form expression unmatched by any medium before or since.

I have personally rededicated myself to my blog. Hopefully I can inspire a few others to do the same.

※

※

※

I’ve been drafting a blog post explaining how I’m doing this as I work on it, which I will post as soon as I’ve confirmed this is working.

※

If this works, I’ll post an article explaining how I did it.

※

※

※

※

※

※

※

※

※

※

i stopped in at the salt lounge tonight to grab a drink, and to see if anyone i knew was hanging out/playing. turns out a band called leviride were. i opened for them a while back, and i really enjoyed their songs. i went up and said hey to the lead singer tonight, chatted it up a bit. however after talking to him, i had a thought.

i wondered if he knew i was a christian, and if he didn’t and found out, if his perception of me would change. i thought “would he think i was an intolerant bigot, bent on forcing my views on other people and ‘saving’ them?” would he think “this guy is part of the group that’s responsible for more deaths than any other religion”? i basically wondered, “does this guy think i’m ‘different’”?

walking back to my car, i then thought “those first two things i can’t really change, and i hope that he would have enough understanding or at least enough willingness to hear me out about those issues. But, that last question, I wonder if I would rather that answer be ‘yes’?”

i wonder if people look at me and realize that there is life inside of me? i wonder if there’s that sparkle in the eye, the calmness in my voice that lets people know that i’m safe and that i’m good. i may mess up, but God is making me a perfect person. he promised he would. he said i would be a new creature and that i would be used to reconcile the world to him. am i that person? am i sometimes that person? can people see that life in me?

※

it was one of those nights where anything that you wish wouldn’t happen did. ty had some major troubles getting to the show, and the sound wasn’t great, but the spirit and what God was doing in the kids hearts and in my own was truly amazing.

※

i wonder if people think that with the last few posts that i’ve been trying to act like ‘everything’s alright’ in terms of my relationship with God. i wouldn’t say things are ‘alright,’ but i would say that progress is being made. i guess, that’s really what it’s about. that there’s some sort of forward movement going on, in terms of my understanding of God and myself. i’m trying to find the ways in my life that i’ve never before thought to connect God to, and it’s been interesting for sure. the last two posts have been about those kinds of things.

i then wonder if some people think that i’m just putting on an act, and that i’m really not a christian anymore or whatever because of some of the things i’ve said in the past, or things i’ve done. i’ve started reading “mere christianity” by c.s. lewis (again), and he pointed out that the word Christian in the bible simply meant that someone accepted the orthodox beliefs held common by all other believers of Christ. this isn’t to say that there weren’t good christians and bad christians (or to say that there aren’t now), but simply that the word Christian doesn’t need to have any sort of ‘deeper’ meaning that would reflect someone’s behaviour rather than simply their creed. their behaviour can be described as either positive or negative, rather than revoking or instilling the word “Christian” to someone based on their behaviour. so, in the sense of being a Christian in terms of belief, i would say that i am. i still believe in the death and resurrection of Christ, the forgiveness of the saints, the father, son, holy spirit, etc.

what i struggle with is behaviour. not that i’m going out getting drunk every single night, or that i’m committing adultery or murder or any one particular sin. more that i’m not where i’d like to be with God in terms of relating to him. i want to be able to talk with him for hours, simply talking, listening, writing and singing. i want to write songs that give him praise, rather than myself or a girl or whatever. not because i think doing the latter is wrong, but only because i want to use whatever gifts i have for him. and since i don’t have much, i figure i better give him lots of what i do have.

i also want to journal again. the last journal i had i believe i lost in nashville. i think the last journal i wrote was how much i hated being in hello kelly and how much i wanted to be back with sarah. well, clearly some things have changed, namely the wanting to be back with sarah (i’m so over both sarah and kelly now). i just wish i could write the thousands of thoughts that run through my head. wait…i guess that is what i’m doing…right now. only you can read this, and though you won’t comment or respond (which i’m ok with, i’m just making an observation), i will continue to write.

i just ask that you please don’t judge me on what i write. what i put into words on here are not well planned out. i don’t have an outline to follow, or a three-point message to give. i just have thoughts, and a few thousand english words at my disposal. i’ll try to use as many as i can, but if i don’t get to them all, i’m sorry.

thanks for reading.

※

i was reading a magazine today that had a question that felt like the one i had asked so many times. it went on to talk about psalms 22. david sang “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? … O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer.”

it seems like this feeling is felt across the world. i think of the people in africa who must feel like their pleas for rescue continue to go unheard. i think of the teenagers around the world who suffer through depression and loneliness, wondering if there’s anyone in the world who could reach and save them. i think of the parents who have a child who is sick, or even a child who is missing. or the single mom who’s working three jobs just to feed their children. or the father who’s been widowed who feels that they now have a huge void to now fill.

i wonder if God hears these prayers, and then i read the next verse.

Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the praise of Israel.

it isn’t easy to honestly say, but i do believe God is in control and that he does hear our prayers. it sucks that not always are the answers we expect to receive the answers that God knows is best for us. but i look back at the last year, the character i’ve built, the person i’ve become. i wouldn’t be this strong if i hadn’t walked through the flames. i wouldn’t be this concerned for my friends if i hadn’t lost them all. i wouldn’t have felt God running after me if i hadn’t run away.

i don’t pray God would listen, cos he already is. i pray that i would listen, to him and to people who need to hear from God, cos i think he speaks through me and through other people way more than through signs in the stars.

※

tonight i talked with an old friend about his church. he is a creative arts pastor at new hope community church just outside london (very close to where I live). he told me he’d love to see me come along with the worship team, however i’d have to attend the church for 3 months before i could join the team. that is not a problem for me, as i agree that there needs to be some sort of commitment to the church before there’s a commitment to ministering there. but, i’m excited because i’m finally going to be able to use my gifts again, something i’ve missed since i left stoney creek baptist to follow my ‘dream’ of being a ‘rock star.’

this last week i’ve been reminded of something that corrie kessler said to me over a year ago. she said if i don’t use the gifts God’s given me, he’s going to take them away. i struggled for a long time with the worship leader/rockstar thing, and she gave me the best direction i could’ve asked for. however, because i’m hard-headed and stubborn, i managed to ignore her advice and followed my stupid dreams instead. well, that came back to bite me hard. and over the last few months i’ve been paying the price.

tonight, i wrote a chorus line for the first worship song i’ve written in probably a year. it’s nothing amazing, or special, but it’s true.

“i don’t know what i’d do without you in my life.”

i don’t know what i’d do with God. it sounds so corny, and i’ve fought it probably harder than most, but somehow i can’t escape him. wait a second…i think there’s a story about this in the bible…

God, please use me for your purpose. Whatever your plan, wherever you plan to take me, please take me. All of me. Amen.

※

i went to work at starbucks for the first time in almost a month. it was really weird walking in, seeing people working i had never met before. but, i guess that’s what happens when you’re gone; you miss things.

it’s weird not being at camp anymore, knowing i won’t ever be going back as a counsellor. to literally hundreds of kids, that was my identity. to dozens of fellow leaders, it was the friend they knew every summer. to me, i knew that i could be me at camp. i could ask tough questions not because i thought anyone had an exact answer, but because collectively we could at least put words to some of the thoughts i struggle with in my head.

i’ve realized lately that i’m tired of settling for the mundane. in every aspect of my life in the past, i’ve allowed mediocrity to be the standard. i’m not going to let that happen anymore. in my work, my business, i’m going to put in all the energy i can. in my music, i won’t settle for ok. i will write and write until i write a few great songs, and when i go to the studio soon to record them, i will expect that the end result will be amazing. in my future relationships with a girl, i will not accept just waiting around for something to happen. i will make things happen. i will be the catylist.

i will be the catylist. i like that.

※

the first was at GTA. Matty Johnston and Trevor Howard played too, which was fun. The next was at gasp a bar. It was Paris Burning’s cd release party, and it was a blast! Met some great people, had a good time. Didn’t drink any (don’t worry, mom) only cos I don’t drink when I sing.

The next day I loaded up in a car with my amazing friends Kevin and Jenn, and headed out to Hanover to play with my other awesome friends, Dave and Tyler. My New Obsession took the stage after a 4 month break, and it was a lot of fun! I was worried a bit, but after a few glitches we pulled through and rocked it like we do.

Today I went to church. It was about Father’s day, obviously. It was alright. I’m kinda getting bored, just sitting there. I need to be involved. But, I guess one day.

anyways, that’s all for today. happy father’s day dad. and happy birthday mom.

※

After the worship time was a very intimate Songwriter’s Showcase featuring acoustic performances of this year’s best songs. Artists included Third Day, Matthew West, Joy Williams, Bebo Norman, Mark Hall of Casting Crowns, and many more.

We’ve also been meeting up with some home-grown bands, including Manic Drive, Starfield (who is releasing a new album in May), Jon Steingard of Hawk Nelson (who is releasing their new album on Tuesday), and a few more. We’ve also been hooking up with lots of artists and companies here in the US. It’s been a great experience so far, and we’ve got about 3-4 more days to go!

※

I got to Orangeville around noon, but had no idea where Francois’ place was. I text messaged him, and just drove around town a bit, trying to find roads I recognized (there were none).

Francois and James rescued me at around 12:30. We met up with Mike, and had some lunch at Wendies. At around 1, we made our way to Owen Sound. We were supposed to be there around 2:30, but no one was at the church when we showed up, so we went for some Tim’s. I got a gross hot chocolate that Francois liked, so he had some. I didn’t win anything.

We set up and sound checked in a few hours…Manic Drive was having some problems with their Moog, which was too bad. But, once everything was set up and ready to go, we just hung out in the back room, ate some pizza, and just chilled before we hit the stage. Francois and I went to the washroom to do some last minute prep work, and when we came out, realized that the rest of the band were already on the stage.

We came on, and the show began. 7 songs later, the set was done.

We hung out for quite a while with the fans, and just had a cool time chillin. We went to Montana’s after (my first time) and it was really good. Francois bought him, me and James a deep-fried cheesecake, and it was delicious.

We got back to O-Ville around 1:30, and fell asleep around 2.

My first Hello Kelly show.

※

I’m trying to work on writing music again. I’ve been writing for my band, which is great, but I want to write for myself for a bit. I want to see how I can apply the things I’ve been learning about music can apply to other forms of music. I want to work on my piano again. I want to write a love song. I want to sing.

I am thinking about trying out for Canadian Idol. It’s coming to Waterloo and Toronto. I don’t know if I’d make it or not, but I at least want to give it a try.

Sarah is currently creating a masterful diet for me right now. If it works, I want her to publish it. I’ll be the spokesperson, and she can be the famous writer who gets to travel to the book stores and book clubs and sign people’s copies of first editions. I also want her to follow her dream of opening a coffee shop, so I can have free coffee.

I would really like to find a church in London that has people who are interested in discussing life, being thoughful and caring and intellectual, and yet are also cool people who like to have fun, hang out, spend time together. I really enjoy my time with Kevin and Jenn, but I’d like to find more Kevin and Jenn’s.

I guess I’ll just leave you with this for tonight.

“If my home is where my heart is then my home is in your arms”

※

I’m starting to feel anxious about music. I know that this is what I want to do, but I’m at a loss as to how to go about it. Here’s the conundrum: in order to play music, you must make money; in order to make money, you must work; in order to work, you must agree to work hours that may prohibit you from playing music. See what I mean? I had a good talk with Sarah last night, and I think that if were to be honest with myself and with you, I would have to say that I would honestly like to do music full-time for the rest of my life. I just have to figure out how I can go about that. I know I love playing with my band, and if that is how it will happen, then I am more than happy. The only thing is, I don’t know if the other guys are all on the same page in those terms. I don’t blame them, they have dreams and asparations they’ve had since they were young too. I just hope that possibly our dreams will line up, and we’ll be able to go full out with this and put as much energy as we can into it, so that it WILL become successful.

Anyways, that’s sort of me without a muzzle. Oh, what do you think of the new design? Tres chaud?

※

I think that’s kind of how it is with us. I mean, I don’t have anything special about me. I don’t have a special talent, or a gift, or anything like that. I just have me. Sometimes I have to rearrange who I am to meet the needs of a situation, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But that’s the beauty of life; we’re given lots of trial-and-error.

I’ve been struggling with grace, again. It’s the one thing that is keeping me from God, I think. That and my stubborness. But, I have a hard time understanding how someone could love me. At all, really. The weird thing is, the reason changes every day. Sometimes I am prideful, feeling that I am above grace; above charity. Other times I feel I’m so far fallen that no cross could pick me back up. I already know the christian answer to this, so please save it.

I am kind of tired of asking questions, but somehow I think that’s all I’ll ever have. I don’t really expect to arrive anywhere in this life anymore. I guess I’m constantly travelling.

※

i don’t really know what else to talk about tonight. i had an amazing time with my loverly girlfriend sarah tonight. she is so good to me, and i love her so much. i’m sorry, i’m not trying to brag, but i am the luckiest man in the world. i really don’t deserve this.

my new obsession…it’s funny that i talk about this as if you’re interested. i know for a fact that there are some ebc’ers who intentionally avoid us. have you even heard us? do you even know what we’re about? clearly not.

i’m really excited about what’s happening in our little world right now. we’ve got a new guitarist and are looking to add another. we played in guelph on sunday night at d.fo’s church, and it was grand times. we played a new song and it went over really well, which has encouraged me as our new songs are (i think) much better than the crap we have now.

anyways, i dunno what else to say. so, there….i’m back on top.

※

i went to Stoney Creek Baptist church yesterday. I’m starting to like it more and more. Not necessarily the music, or the preaching, but just the overall atmosphere, the openess to it. I feel welcome, even when I dress up in my rockstar get-up (though, the old guy greeter yesterday had a bit of a shocked expression on his face when I came through the door). Sarah played piano again, and she was wonderful. I’m so impressed with her musical abilities. I just wish I told her more.

After church Sarah, her sister, and I went to the college and career’s kick off lunch. It was good times. The people there are very nice, and I actually look forward to being more a part of that (even though, once again, I have neither college nor career).

After this we went back to the K-house, got dressed up, and headed off to the Exodus in Peril/Hello Kelly show. I was under the impression that this was a college and career event for New Hope Community church…however, it most definitely was not. Instead, as we pulled into the drive, our eyes caught sight of several youth and pre-youth, awaiting entry into the concert. However, once things got rolling, a few older people joined in. Exodus in Peril, unfortunately, was stricken with sore-throatitis. However, I was impressed with their new guitarist. I look forward to seeing more with him.

After EiP was Hello Kelly. Honestly, I was not looking forward to seeing/hearing these guys. I had the impression that they were 99.9% hype, and that they were really not as talented as many liked to think. However, once they got started, I saw that my presuppositions were very untrue. I was very impressed with their musical abilities, song writing, stage presence, and everything else. To top it off, the two guys I met, Mike and Francois, were very nice. So, I say to Kelly, kudos to you.

After the show, we went to McDonalds, and then back to Sarah’s. Somewhere along the way, I lost my cell phone. I am still trying to find it, so please pray that things will work out.

Today, I wrote two songs. I may post one later.

I said earlier that I don’t have a career. Well, that was a little misleading. I don’t have a career, but I do now have a part-time job. I am working at purolator as a sorter. Basically, I put boxes on trucks. Sounds exciting, I know. But, it’ll hold me over for a while, until I can find another job. Much thanks goes to my brother, who had a bit of a hand in my acquiring this job. Thanks bro.

Anyways, that’s all for me. Anyone getting tired of these overly-long posts yet?

※

I’m still trying to find a job. Things with the church in Brampton aren’t going to work out. I’ve decided I’m going to focus on secular work. I don’t want to be tied up in a Christian job anymore. It’s just one more chain tying me to Christianity. I want to be free of all those chains, so that it’s only me holding on. No obligations, no responsibilities, just me and God, holding fast to one another.

I’ve begun to read Donald Miller’s new book. I’m excited, because it’s a book about being on a journey, about moving. I need to move. I’m beginning to grow roots, and I hate that. I need to be going somewhere, but right now there’s no place for me to go.

My relationship with God is sort of plateaued, and not at the top of a mountain. I hate this place, and yet it’s a place I know I need to travel before I can keep going. No, wait…it’s a place I need to wait before I can keep going.

Anyways, I hope everyone’s having a great first week back at school/first week before the beginning of school (depending on your circumstance). Let me know how everyone’s first week is!

※

Finished the last week at camp on Friday. Glad that’s done. Not that I didn’t enjoy it, but 7 weeks is enough for me. Overall the summer was pretty good. There were some issues with the directors and such, but other than that things went well. I learned a lot this summer, about waiting on God (in a real, practical sense), how if we trust God he’ll give us the desires of our hearts, and once again how fun spooning is.

Got a call from the church in Brampton…kinda playing phone tag with them right now. Hopefully we’ll get something worked out. I am really torn by this whole thing, wanting to go to work at an awesome church, and staying so that I can be with my amazing girlfriend. I really don’t want to leave Sarah, again, but as of right now that’s where things are lookin’ to go. Unless I get a call from New Hope Community Church in London sometime soon.

Anyways, that’s all I really want to write today. Take care.

※

This week was interesting. We had a fantastic speaker who’s been up for the last several years, Jon Halliday. However, the first few sessions, we were having a tough time getting any response from these kids. I know that we’re not supposed to be looking or doing it for a response, however these were kids we’ve known for several years as they’ve grown up at camp, and all of a sudden they had no interest, even from the week before, about what was going on. It was a struggle to lead worship for myself, and a struggle to speak into their lives for PJ.

However, on Tuesday, I approached PJ and told him that I felt that these kids were not thirsty, that they had no desire for God, and therefore obviously weren’t interested in knowing Him more. I told him that we should look up verses in the Bible concerning thirst. The obvious ones (the woman at the well, the beatitude concerning thirst) didn’t really help. However, during a bit of free time, I thought back to the Old Testament, at a time when Israel was still travelling with Moses. They had already been provided water from the rock, as well as manna, and after all this still complained about being thirsty. Moses then asked the Lord for help, and God told him to go to a rock near a mountain and command it to bring forth water. Well, instead of just speaking to the rock, Moses tried to beat the water out of it. While it did provide water, it was not in the way God had intended Moses to pursue the water, and led to God denying Moses the privilege of leading Israel to the promised land.

I realized while reading that verse that all we were to do this week was to speak God’s love into their lives, not try to beat it into them. We couldn’t try to force a response, but rather had to allow God to do it his way.

Later on in the week, I found out that Sarah’s grandfather passed away. Sarah was really close to her grandpa, and it’s been a hard week first seeing him so sick and then finally losing him. If you wouldn’t mind praying for her, that would be awesome.

※

As I said, I was working outside. Tomorrow is the London Air Show, and the Snowbirds flying team was bringing their jets into the London Airport which is just around the corner from us. Several jets turned right overhead of where we were, and as they passed, almost all of the pickers in the fields stopped to watch what an amazing spectacle we were witnessing. However, soon after everyone turned back to the task at hand, I witnessed something no one else saw. Just after the plane passed, a bird flew just about 30 feet off the ground and landed on a branch of a tree. Now, you ask “what is so amazing about that? That happens everyday.” And that is exactly my point.

Those jets that humans made to fly around are powerless without someone controlling it. It is large and cannot simply land wherever it desires. It is inanimate. However, this machine that we humans built somehow fascinates us much more than the millions upon millions of birds that we see in the sky. These birds every day go out, find food, fend for their young, and interact in ways we cannot understand.

Obviously, the birds vs. planes scenario I’m talking about isn’t my main point. So many times we see amazing things happen; things that no human can replicate. And yet we never seem to pay much attention to them because they are just ordinary facts of life. But, what happens when this becomes our attitude toward God? The reality is, He hasn’t changed much in the part of eternity that has passed so far. Do we find ourselves simply passing Him over because we hear about Him every day? Do we pass up opportunities to know Him more because something that we have done fascinates us more than He does? I know I am guilty of this more times than I care to admit. Maybe rather than trying to formulate more formulas and steps to know God better, I should just get back to what I should be doing, which is actually getting to know God better.

※

I’m trying to figure out what it means to be real. I watched the Shai Awards the other night (the Canadian Christian music awards). There was a group (featuring Manafest) that did a song called “Real.” Basically, it was a whole song going on and on about how they are real, and that other rappers aren’t, and that they are real cos they know Christ. I’m sorry, but if you need a whole song about how real you are, you are obviously not very real. That’s like me writing a whole song about how I can write songs.

So, I’ve been reading Blue Like Jazz again. I borrowed it from Grace (the man) earlier in the year, but had to give it back before I was done as he was leaving. So, I have finally gotten myself a copy. Once again, the chapter on grace (not the man) has brought me to a place where I don’t know where to go next. I see myself in Mr. Miller’s writing. I’ve been the pharisee, I’ve rejected grace because I thought I could do it on my own. I’m trying to see myself as someone who physically needs grace, as in someone who literally cannot make ends meet on their own, and I don’t know how well I’d deal with it. I’m so comfortable with how my life is going; good job, good girl, good friends. I don’t know what I’d do if I were like Job and lost everything. I’d probably turn my back on God, forgetting all the times he’s been so faithful to me.

Anyways, as I said. In two days I leave for camp. Have a good summer.

※

The whole “band” thing is frustrating. Don’t get me wrong, Dave and Ty and Dusty are amazing guys, and amazing musicians. However, because we are all such amazingly cool people, we definitely have a hard time getting our schedules to match up. Also trying to decide things like t-shirt designs and other things are made much more difficult. I guess it’s good though, because then we aren’t settling. Chances are, if I were left to make all the decisions myself and they didn’t have any input, we would be a boy band by this point, with Dave leaving to start his own side project called “Ants in My Pants” and Ty would be in rehab for ODing on gravy. Dusty of course would have started the “Dustin Martin Band” and gone on to make millions, but let’s not tell him that’s his alternate future.

I know this all sounds like madness, and it is. But, I love my band, and I love that for some reason, people are interested in what I have to say. I dunno, I guess I’ve never appreciated that before, but now I do. So, thanks for listening.

※

I went to Ron today to ask if my band could once again use the chapel for band practice. All this entails on his part is for him to ask either Ry or Sam to let us in and out. Ryan was sitting right there the whole time, so he could’ve easily turned around and said “hey Ryan, can you let these guys in on Sunday?” But no. Instead, he had to tell me that because I was half an hour late in asking him, I couldn’t practice on Sunday. This is right after I led worship at the chapel for the school.

Contrast this with a professor here at the school asking me the day before I had planned on going home for the weekend (something I haven’t done since February) if I could lead worship for a “Walk-Thru-the-Bible” seminar the school was putting on. Of course I said yes. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened either.

It just seems to me that this school is very quick to request things from people that cause people to sacrifice something, when they aren’t willing at all to budge on their “rules” or “guidelines.” This is exactly what I believe Jesus would want a church or other Christian organization to be like.

Anyways, that’s my rant for today. I hate Emmanuel Bible College.

※

Also, some good news! My purevolume.com website, where you can download “All I Need” for free, has just recently hit 1000 hits! Click on the image to see the total as of today…

Thanks for all who have supported me over the last year. You are truly a blessing! God bless!

※

What a night! First, I have to say, Ryan, my roommate, you are hilarious! Ryan did a short stand up comedy bit, and it was great! Three cheers! There were lots of other acts as well last night, including Sketch and his story telling, Corrie Kessler singing/playing piano, and, who can forget the mannequin song? All the acts were totally awesome! Kudos!

As for my set, this was probably the most nerve-racking show I’ve ever done. It was the first time I have ever played almost all of the songs I played. In fact, the only song I had ever done before another group of people is “All I Need,” which obviously I’ve been playing for over a year now.

This show was interesting because it was just me and my guitar. It left my very open, very vulnerable. The first couple of songs I was a little uptight, but as I started talking to the crowd and really getting into it, I stopped worrying about what the people were thinking about the songs, and just focusing on singing my heart out. By the end of it, people were getting into it and singing along, which is always a great feeling!

So, now that that first show is out of the way, I’m really looking forward to the rest of this year. For those who were there last night, unfortunately I didn’t get any of the show recorded. So, I guess I’ll just have to wait until next time! Thanks very much for coming out and supporting me. It meant a lot!

※